Bittersweet

As of yesterday, I have been an official Working Mom (WM) for a whole week.  Yikes!  So "how do I like it?" you ask...because let me tell you I have heard that question about 50 million times.

Bittersweet.

Yes, I wanted and have loved being a stay-at-home mom for the last two years but have recently been battling inside that maybe it's time to get a part time job.  So since the beginning of this year, I have been knocking on God's door, daily.  Wondering, asking, "Is it my time yet?"

And He finally answered.  So I am now the accountant for the local bus company here in town.  I only work part time, which is so great.  Adeline only has to go to daycare one additional day than she was going before becoming a WM.   And I am making great money.  So "why so bittersweet then?" you ask....

Are you ready for the spoiled brat to come out....(at least that is what my mom says)...so if you don't want to hear whining, stop reading now...

No more relaxing massages, no more mid morning movies theatre adventures, no more lying around in my pj's all day, showerless and making a nice dent on the couch, and no more great workouts at the gym...and the list goes on and on and on.  And the worst part, the most painstaking part of it all, 3 days without Adeline.  

So the payoff - more money, 3 days straight of constant adult conversation (surprisingly I do remember how to do that) and the big payoff at the end of the day the whole reason I was praying for it to begin with....confidence.  Because man, if you don't work and have a purpose (other than the huge one of raising a child) you really do lose your "self".  

So, a tribute to all WM out there, here's to keeping your "self" and raising a child. 

Parenting 101

As you know from the previous post, I love my child, more than anything in the world and I don't know how any parent can NOT love their child more than anything in the world...but there are those parents out there. And it's horrible when you see or hear about parents abusing children and you feel empathy and you think how can these parents act this way.  But what I feel is heartbreak and sadness and fear and empathy.  I don't ever feel angry...maybe because I think there has to be something totally mentally unstable for any parent to act this way...they couldn't actually be sane individuals...right??

But the parents that really tick me off, that make me angry and pissed off and scream at the evening news broadcaster out loud that deliver this appalling information are the ones that say they love their children but are so busy they forget that their child in the car in 100 degree weather and shop for 3 hours, or the ones that are too busy talking on their cell phone to see that there child has run off and gotten lost.  Those are the parents that urk me.  Those are the parents that know better and are so self absorbed they can't pay attention to the one thing that should be most important.  Today I met and finally confronted one of these parents...and it felt good...

I was at Target shopping and saw a man, lets call him Bad Parent (BP), talking with his one year old little boy, sort of playing, at the toy isle.  I stopped at the mens sock isle across the way debating what kind of socks my Daniel would like, which, if any of you know my Daniel, is a really hard decision. So it took me about 5 minutes to finally make a decision...about socks.  Anyway, I come out of the isle to see the little boy looking at some toys.  But I didn't see his BP.  So I look up and down the toy isles thinking that the BP is probably close by, but nope, I didn't see him.  So I stand there watching the boy look at the toys and pick one up and start looking for his BP.  I would say about 5 minutes have gone by so far.  Then way down the center isle I see the BP texting on his phone not even looking for his child.  After he is done texting he goes down another isle in the media area, not even caring where his child is.  I am getting angry now, thinking to myself, some "baddie"could just take this little boy and this BP wouldn't even know.  At this point this cute little boy is carrying a huge box twice his size looking for his BP and starting to whine.  So I get worried and take the toy and his hand carefully so he doesn't get scared and walk him all the way to the other side to his BP, who by the way, is still texting.  Just thinking about it is making me get sick and angry.  So I say to the BP...

me: is this your son?

BP: oh yes, thank you (with a nervous laugh)

me:  (thinking: he thinks this is funny!!! UGGHHHH!!!) you should be ashamed of yourself.  anyone could have picked him up and taken off with him. texting is not more important than your children.  get your priorities straight.  

I say this glaring with red hot flames coming out of my eyes and mouth.

And with that I turn around and try to calm myself down.  

Maybe it's just me but now that I have Adeline I am way more accute to the "baddies" that are out there ready to pounce when some idiot parent is not watching their kid.  That has to be my number one fear.  

So parents, (if there are any that read this besides me...because yes I do read my blog...is that weird??) put your cell phones down and pay attention to your children and if they are wanderers put them in a cart and who cares if they cry and make a scene, they will get over it and at least you would have your beautiful child safe.

(ok...getting of my soap box now...)

     

Australia's #1 Kid

                             (Adeline trying so hard not to stick her tongue out at the camera)

I know that everyone loves their children but today I loved my daughter so much more that I thought my love barometer was going to explode.  You know, when you just want to pick them up and squeeze all the goodness out so you can gobble it up.  Ok, so here it is, first when I pick her up from her school, she can hear the car pull up in the driveway and she is screaming, "Mommy, Mommy...it's my Mommy everyone!" and she can't get to the door fast enough to give me the biggest hug I have ever had.  Love it...can't live without it!

Next, I take her to my WW meeting and you would think that after school she would be off the wall hypo or cranky since just having a long day at school.  But she was so amazingly great.  She started to get a little out of control when she saw a cat...and if you know Adeline usually when she sees a cat it's like a hound dog chasing a fox.  And when she doesn't catch it, it's the biggest tantrum you have ever seen.  Nope, not today!  I explained to her that she couldn't behave that way and no probs!  Amazing!

The next cutest thing ever was when I put her to bed tonight....I told Daniel to go in and say goodnight when he gets a moment from work.  A few minutes later he goes in and when he opens the door Adeline peeks up from under her covers and says "Daddy, close the door, I need to sleep." So my Daniel goes and gives her a hug and kiss and she says, "Ok Daddy, I love you but go...I need to sleep." What kid wants to go to bed?  All I have to say is...na-na-nana-na...mine!!!

And finally the best thing ever, in the whole wide world was this.  And if you have ever potty trained a child you will understand the joy I had when this happened...

I am sitting enjoying my evening episode of Brothers and Sisters and there is only about 10 minutes left and I hear, "Mommy" and I try and ignore it, hoping that she will go back to sleep..."Mommy"...not so lucky.  I get up and go check on her and she says all cranky "Mommy, I have to go poo poo." So of course, I rush her to to toilet and she's half asleep on the potty and says "I didn't want to go in my bed Mommy." And I am so excited because I see now that the training is finally over!!!!  I tell her how proud I am and that I am the luckiest mommy in the world to have such a wonderful little girl and she gets off the potty, she gives me another big hug and kiss and says "thanks mommy".  And she trots back to bed, gets under the covers and I am thinking, "damn, now I am going to have to sing and miss the end of my show." But she says "goodnight, you can go now Mommy."  

So I walk out and think to myself, do I have the best daughter ever or what!  (don't answer that, because I want to live in my own bliss please.)  She is great!  She listens and obeys and loves and cares and makes me feel so important....even when she tells me to leave her room...but is she supposed to be making me feel that way?...isn't it the wrong way around?  Or just maybe this is healthy and I need to stop analyzing my motherhood and enjoy this perfect relationship because I am sure it won't last.

Not even Adam and Eve could make it last. (sigh) 

Finally a holiday

My Daniel and I finally had a holiday!  Yay!  It was a little forced, meaning that our 1 day holiday turned into a 3 day holiday when our car broke down, but being the optimistic family that we are turned it into a positive weekend.  Byron Bay has to be the A-typical town of Australia.  When I would dream of Australia, before I moved here of course, I saw beautiful beaches with gorgeous people and lots of hippies.  But when I moved here, I found it surprisingly different...then there is Byron Bay.  It is/was my dream.  Fun, alive, great food, and great friendly beautiful people.  And we aren't talking about ordinary beautiful people, we are talking about the can't stop staring, they must be a model, man I look fat, type of beautiful people.  But these beautiful people aren't the same as say California type beautiful people, these beauties are all natural, which makes it almost seem hippie, like my dream.  Anyway, it really made me come home and hit the gym again.

But other than the beauties, the food was wonderful!  And being that we live in Kempsey and our choices of eating out consist of Macca's (Australia for MacDonalds) and KFC, really anything is better.  But our favorite was the OzzyMex Cafe!  Talk about bringing me back home.  Every bite of their food was like a little Mariachi band in my mouth.  It will now be our permanent holiday spot because of the following reasons:

1.  OzzyMex Cafe

2.  The lighthouse walk

3.  Seeing dolphins playing in the surf

4.  Great shopping

5.  The Bangalow markets (almost as good as Canton!)

6.  Beautiful beaches and people

7.  Little shopping carts in the grocery

8.  OzzyMex Cafe

9.  Did I mention the OzzyMex Cafe?

All I can say is, we will be back!